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Jim Johnston
Early Life Jim "Alan" Johnston was born in 1959. He is 58 Years old. He grew up in an awful home, but music always helped him out of it. He often got in trouble with the law because of pimping out women. At the age of 18 he got arrested on allegations of "rape". He claimed not to have had sexual relations with that women which was true. He was found guilty even though he was a virgin until he was 45. He later sued the Country for massive fraud in a case that he actually won! He received $59 Billion from the United States Of America. Days With The WWE Johnston was best known for his days at the WWE. He made many of the theme songs for the wrestlers. He often charged the wrestlers with sex for his songs, no matter what gender you were. He busted many cheeks during his time with the WWE. He later got arrested because he was found out when he thought a WWE Diva was 29 when she was actually a 5 year old Child. He later apologized and then he later got released by the WWE. The Days In Rehab Johnston ended up in rehab to prevent his sexual urges. They would use rape tactics as revenge so he would never do it again. This later caused a Drinking problem he would later have to deal with for a long time. During the Rehab he met his beautiful wife "Charcoal". Charcoal was actually a piece of charcoal he found in the woods. He claimed that Charcoal was the reason he was able to get passed his Sexual Tendencies. He still enjoyed sex but he wouldn't rape anyone anymore. Second Stint With The WWE The WWE eventually resigned him because their ratings went to shit and they needed controversy to help spice the show up. Johnston later admitted that he had a drinking problem. During this time Johnston was an instant success. He still had many affairs with the WWE Divas but it wasn't rape or for money it was consensual, something Johnston never knew before. He was later released from the WWE for a second time when they found out he was drinking on the job. Dealing With His Drinking Problem The Rehab place told him to Drink instead of rape and it obviously worked. His wife "Charcoal" eventually was pregnant with Charcoal kids and Johnston wanted to become a great father so he tried to hang himself. His attempt was unsuccessful. He later found Charcoal's sister and he made live with her. Charcoal later came in and they eventually had a threesome. Johnston said this was the best day in his life. He later said that this moment alone got him out of his drinking problem because who wouldn't want threesomes every day. Johnston ended up bending the rules and practiced bigamy and it worked. He is now married to Charcoal and Charcoal's sister. Third Stint With The WWE During Johnston's third stint with the WWE he became the warm up man for the WWE Divas. I don't know who's idea that was but hey he has a job. His job was the comfort and let the Divas warm up. He would have consensual sex with all of them. Sometimes he would bring them all in and have orgies with them. He marked this as a great day in his life. The WWE later hired the male wrestlers to beat the shit out of him. He was beat and thrown into a ditch. His wife Charcoal found him and spit on him after finding a male wrestler making love with his body. Charcoal just laughed and ran away. Little did she know is that they had a plan for her. The WWE sent a hit on her. She died on 9/11 because the reason the towers fell was because of the WWE trying to kill her, but other innocent people happened to die that day. The Cringe Awards Johnston was found in the ditch by other Cringe Award employees. Because of him getting beat up he lost all of his mental problems and became normal. He was offered a job as a Music Producer/Song Writer for the show. He accepted it. He is one of the most important people during the show as the one playing the songs on the speakers. * He wrote the song I Bring the Darkness (End of Days) feat Tommy Vext for The 2017 Cringe Awards. * The song I Bring the Darkness (End of Days) is Track #2 in The 2017 Cringe Awards. The Cringe Award Statistics